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Trigger warning: mention of rape.
First off, I don’t wish sickness upon anyone. From what I’ve heard about COVID from people who survive it, it can be much more than the flu and it can be unforgiving in how you feel… I cannot control your sacred contracts or the life you chose before you came into it. This is your journey, I can only love you and share with you what I’ve learned along my healing journey.
I used to get sore throats and the flu multiple times a year. I used to attribute it to working with kids but really my immune system was down and I would be knocked out for days to weeks. Did I think about changing my diet? Did I think there was something bigger that my body was trying to tell me? In my 20’s, no.
What was the source of my sore throats? Sure, it was affected by my diet & stress but that also linked to not speaking my truth or being authentic because my parents did not agree with my choices, not speaking up for what I wanted or what I believed in relationships or work, keeping quiet when I would have my feelings hurt, or questioning myself when I was date raped.
When I was 34, I had food poisoning when I was living in a place where I didn’t have anyone to turn to - it showed me that I needed to be in a place where I felt supported and had true community.
I had a COVID scare last week. As I laid in bed getting ready to fall asleep, I got the chills, I couldn’t get warm, but my temperature was in the normal range. Earlier in the day, I was having a dry cough - I thought maybe it was the result of not drinking enough water plus the dry heat from the heater. Then I got scared - I was having trouble taking deep breaths- my chest & upper back felt tight, much like it would during an asthma attack when I was a teen. I read something about laying on your stomach instead of your back to help with this and prevent the lung collapse (collapse? That could be wrong…). So, I turned over and snuggled up with my pillow and reminded myself, “I’m ok. I’m supported. I am optimally healthy.” I reminded myself of how much I take care of myself - from intermittent fasting, affirmations, journaling, mindset, getting out in nature, getting sunlight, balancing my foods, getting enough water, giving thanks before meals, gratitude journal at night, meditation, exercise, breathwork… all the things to be optimally human. Then, I fell asleep. The next day, I slept and slept and slept… I was lethargic and a bit achy for the next 24-36 hours, and then I asked out loud, “Why do I feel like this?” the answers came through… and then, I was fine. I took a COVID test 4 days later and it came back negative.
What was the answer? I was living in other people’s worlds versus my own. I was working by the standards of others and not in the ways I had learned in the last five years. I was abandoning my body and intuition again. I wasn’t meditating, I was doing what a bunch of “law of attraction” coaches were saying versus what my intuition was saying. I was giving into the fear of those around me versus trusting my guides, my highest self, myself. I was working longer than I needed to and exhausted. Finally, my body said, STOP - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
So here’s a question for you… if you got COVID or if you got sick in any capacity - food poisoning, a cold, the flu… did you question what it was meant to teach you? Did you look at it from a holistic standpoint and not from a “it happened to me” versus “it happened for me” mentality? Do you go back to the way you were living your life before you got sick or do you make changes?
If we create the stories of our life… being the magician or the creator to it rather than the victim of it...then what does that situation teach us? What pattern is this disruption disrupting?
As we go into 2021, let’s remember that life happening for us creates abundance and healing - first in our own internal world and in turn the collective and external world. Abundance for me will create abundance for you and vice versa. Just because I have abundance or love doesn’t mean that you won’t. There is more than enough for everyone, but it’s a mindset & energy. Our actions have an impact on the energy of the world. I am you and you are me...So, for the good of all...