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If you'd rather listen than read, click the photo above.
I have felt all over the place this week. I haven’t been sleeping well either so I let myself sleep in today since I didn’t have any morning meetings. I have a slew of things I want to get done, but I feel sluggish and sad. Even as I type this, I get nervous to share that with you, and quick to judge myself on the amount of rest I’ve been needing. I remind myself - I am an empath, we are in a pandemic, election day is 5 days away, and I have been non-stop pretty much the last three weeks. It’s ok to rest. It’s not only ok, it’s vital.
There are a number of law of attraction coaches and energy workers who say “allow yourself to feel the emotions and tell yourself ‘I allow myself to feel [said emotion] in my body’ so that it lessens the resistance to feel.” Shit, even I’ve said this. What happens when there are a lot of emotions at once? I do a pretty good job of allowing myself to feel and giving myself the space to unpack emotions through journaling but this week has felt like I need to lay in bed all week to rest and feel. I am reminded each time I meditate & journal this week to do more things to fill up my energy. For the last five years, I’ve done a lot of work by myself. Sure, there are meetings maybe once or twice a week, but as a freelancer, a lot of work is on your own and on your own time. As I have taken on a new consulting client, I am back into at least 4-8 meetings a week plus volunteer events with numerous other people from all walks of life plus the people we serve. I had been going about my days as I did when I worked by myself. I am reminded that I need to take more time throughout the day for me. The 10 minute dance breaks are helpful, but I have to remember to do them everyday, especially with back to back meetings some days. I have to be better about my schedule and scheduling in FREE TIME or nap time because the brain needs a break, love.
As I write this, I’m listening to sound bowls. Why? Because my nervous system needs it.
There is a full moon on Saturday, October 31st, which is also a Blue Moon. No, it’s not actually blue, but it is the second full moon in a month. The fact that it also falls on Halloween, the first day of the celebration of Dia del los Muertos as well as Samhain, “the Gaelic festival marking the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter or the "darker half" of the year. Traditionally it is held on 1 November, but with celebrations beginning on the evening of 31 October, as the Celtic day began and ended at sunset.” - it’s whoa (insert tiktok dance here). Plus, with where the moon is placed in the sky with the alignment of the other planets, this full moon is a bit extra (yes, even more extra than a regular full moon intensity). According to astrologer, Chani Nicholas, the full moon on October 31st is “one of the loudest Full Moons of the year, it brings with it unexpected events, disruptions, and distracting surprises. Happening on a day that, to many, is a portal to the other side, to our ancestors, and to the spirit world in general, the connections that come during the Full Moon, and in the days that surround it, will be clamorous, to say the least.” I’ve also heard numerous times that if you do work with this moon, please wait until the 1st, so the energy is not erratic. The full moon is perfect for releasing what does not serve you and cutting chords from people or energy that has run its course.
I got an email this morning from Pixie Lighthorse, author of numerous books including Prayers of Honor, Boundaries & Protection, and more. She said, “The usual protocols were not working very well for me, and as Summer waned, depression began to take up more real estate than I can afford. Have you struggled? I'm betting you've been through a lot, emotionally and otherwise.” I felt so seen. I have read a page of her Boundaries & Protection book each morning these last few days to help with the turmoil that I feel inside - all the meetings, all the errands, all the people, expectations, last minute decisions, feeling rushed, while trying to process my own emotions, ground, and create from intention & purpose. I have found myself falling into old patterns of working hard and long hours versus using the tools I’ve gained over the last few years - casting spells, visualization, using meditation or the akashic records to brainstorm. Make space. Make time work for me. Work smarter, not harder. I had been raised by two people who worked hard and long hours. I had prided myself on such things when I was an athlete- like Will Smith said, “no one will outwork me.” Even this morning, one of my best friends, “Oh I thought you were starting something new this week? I don’t know where I got that from” to which I replied “Well, it’s me, I’ve always got something new going.” Then I was met with a text from a friend asking for meditation/yoga/breathwork services and then an email from another friend about a potential job that sounds super intriguing but doesn’t align with what I had envisioned moving forward. Spirit has been having fun with all the messages and signs. Oh the possibilities… I’m not overwhelmed at all… just kidding. Exciting, yes, just another reminder to ground.
So what to do? I asked my inner child (yes, we all have the different stages of us within ourselves) what she needs. She said she wants to be alone, bake, climb and hug a tree, hang out in nature, play with mushrooms, color, and draw.
Also, sleep. And breathwork (maybe ones that are grounding, cool, and not so fiery like I normally do in the mornings).
As I finish writing this, I notice that I have more energy and more focus as the rest of the world quiets down. It’s 5:45 p.m. and people are powering down from work, headed home, getting dinner ready. There’s a calm settling. There was one day a couple months back where I cried in bed for a couple hours and allowed myself to feel all that people weren’t allowing themselves to feel or to express. As I write this, I’m reminded of that day - today made me think of that day.
So, dear ones, allow yourself to feel. Take a sick day. Use that PTO. Rest and recharge. It’s not always easy. It’s not always comfortable…. But it’s necessary. In the U.S. and in many capitalistic driven countries in the world, our productivity is more valued than our health and wellness, but we’re starting to see that change, but it’s up to us individually if we want that change and to make that change. So take the rest. Let yourself feel. Give yourself time and space. Your body will thank you. Your soul will thank you. The world will thank you.
Newsletter suggestions:
Music to listen to: Sade in the 90's by Qveen Herby, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yn8jkQrRuvA
Meditation to try: sound bath for upper chakras https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EztGaLpxrTo
Movement to try: rest (and maybe listening to more sound bowls, but for the lower chakras: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifu-62-85WU)