.png)
Everyone talking around me
Arguing & fighting
No one talking to me
Wasn’t quite gaslighting
It was as if I got to see everything
And hear all the stories in between
But no one talked to me
Like I wasn’t being felt, heard, or seen
“She’s only 5. She’s only 6.
She won’t know what’s going on.”
But I carried the weight
I watched the pain
I heard it all along
How different life might be
If someone had pulled me aside
Talked to me like I was an adult
Not just trying to get by
Peter Crohn once said
If it was meant to happen
It would've happened that way
So there’s a lesson here
And something I need to say
That experience helped shape
The lessons I’ve learned in life
To understand power
Of so many things
Like music, connection, and spite
Being spiteful of people
And casting blame on them
Versus learning a lesson from here
The experience and what it taught us
Not giving into the fear
For fear breeds jealousy
Fear breeds victimhood
And I no longer want any part of that
I want what’s best for the greater good
The greater good of my Self
The greater good, no strife
The greater good of humanity
The greater good of all life
Life as in existence
How we’re all living together
On this planet
In this universe
It can and will get better
But let’s go back to that little girl
Who took on all that pain
It’s time to put it down
Let it go
And let joy run through my veins
Take all that I learned
From being the observer
And learning about so much
From dynamics to trauma
To connection
It doesn’t really stop
This existence is fluid
This life is but a dream
A dream within a dream
A waking life, you see
So be the observer
Look at life from above
Bird’s eye view
Higher standards
In life and in love
Take on the four agreements
And use them to live your best life
Have integrity
Don’t take things personally
Those are the first steps to take in stride
The next to build up from the first
Don’t make assumptions
Always do your best
And a new life is rebirthed
While I held onto those stories
Of being a savior for so long
They taught me a lot about saving myself
And that I am capable and strong
Stronger that I realize
Capable of more than I hoped
For all the things I did
And all the things I learned
They didn’t leave me broke
My heart is full
My lived experienced is plenty
Keep having fun
Keep sitting with the work
And the abundance and blessings are many
For life is yin and yang
There’s always a little in each
With bliss comes a bit of pain
And with pain comes a little sweet peach
Not a fan of peaches?
That’s ok
Choose whatever your sweetness is
But know that at some point
Your taste buds can change
And the balance of life will live
In the changing
In the growing
In the evolution of it all
So bask in being the observer
And know that it’s ok to fall.
Just get back up
Like you took a charge
Learn for the next time
Now go live life large.
--------
Not everyone's experience is the same, and we all have our own healing journeys. While this poem was quick, my healing journey has taken all sorts of twists and turns over the last 30 plus years. This doesn't even address the trauma inherited from my ancestors, including my parents, but they all make up who we are - no, they do not define us but they do build us. What we learn from those experiences, how we integrate them into our life, and how we evolve from them - that's what this life is about. It's not about holding onto things, it's about the evolution. If you're not ready to let go of a story you've told yourself for so long, that's ok, but if that story is holding you back from experiencing the fullness of this life, it might be time to re-evaluate. If you need help in seeing things differently, need a new perspective, it can be simple or difficult, it all depends on how much you identify with the story or with the past. You are the writer of your story though - so what do you want it to say? What do you want it to become?
As always, I'm here to be of service - reach out if you need a guide leilani@thepathtoyoucoaching.com