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Didn’t have an ah-ha moment this week, but I did feel called to pull a card for this reading.
Before that though, one thing that I’ve noticed a lot on social media and felt called to share is the concept of a cold shower. Sometimes we need a shock to our systems to break us out of our funk. If we’re feeling low, anxious, or not like ourselves, a cold shower can snap us out of it quickly! The serotonin boost helps but also, it’s stepping outside of your comfort zone if you’re typically a warm or super hot shower kind of person. If you’re not ready to jump completely into it, take a warm shower first and end the last 30 seconds-1 minute of your shower with cold water (this will also help close up your pores). The cold shower also helps boost collagen in the body (hello supple skin) and doesn’t dry out your scalp or skin.
Ok, back to the card. I asked the cards, “Whoever reads this article, what message do they need to receive when they read it?” The card that jumped out of the deck was the vulture.
My first thought, “interesting.” Although, that’s usually my go to work when I don’t know how else to describe something or it’s not what I was expecting, but then I read the description. “Guardian & purifier, essential for rebalance.” And then I read even further and then my jaw dropped, “This intriguing bird balances our ecosystem and prevents the spread of disease. It does the dirty work that no one else wants to do and cleans up our messes.”
I listened to a podcast today called “The Earth Locker” with guest, Deepak Chopra. One of the things Deepak talked about, specifically for this time, is something that we’ve heard time and time again - our external world (the world around us) is a reflection of the collective’s internal world (our bodies, minds, and spirits).
Then I looked down and kept reading, “The vulture appears when there’s a situation that needs to be purified or brought back into balance. Remember, [...] what you thought was a mistake or tragedy is a blessing in disguise.”
October into November is also a period of intense retrogrades. Planets in retrograde right now are Mercury, Mars, Neptune, and Uranus. Mercury is the planet of technology, communication, and travel. Mars rules will, action, and war. Neptune is the planet of dreams, illusion, and spirituality. Uranus rules revolution and freedom. When planets are in retrograde it’s time for us to reflect on those areas of our life. I hopped on the tiktok train and saw a video today of a boy sharing “If you’re going to leave me, then don’t enter my life. I’m hurt enough as it is, I don’t need someone who is going to use me and leave just like other people have left.” I responded, “People are in your life for reasons, season, and lifetimes. If the same type of people keep showing up in your life, there’s a lesson to be learned there. The lesson will come in stronger and stronger if we don’t see the lesson and learn from it the first time. We must see the lesson, make change from it, and grow from it.” We are the creators of our realities. Things happen FOR us not TO us. All things I’ve said before, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves. It can be easy to see a situation as negative, but when we look at it and say “what’s this here to teach me? How does this serve me?”--so much beauty can come from this one shift in perspective.
A dear friend of mine said he was feeling a lot of emotions lately. While it is one thing to feel them, it’s another thing to sit with them, as if they’re your friend. The same way the people keep coming into your life, emotions will too. Emotions are messengers, so when one comes up, sit with it, and ask it, “What are you here to show me? What are you trying to tell me?” If you keep looking at the situation the same way, nothing will change. It might be helpful to sit with a friend or a therapist or coach to help frame the situation in a new way and then respond to that. When you look at a situation from a new perspective, it “clarifies, reveals wisdom,” which is the vulture energy in balance. When vulture energy is out of balance, it’s “dramatic, aggressive.” And to “bring into balance: clean your space, sage.”
Where in your life do you need a new perspective?
And a reminder that change is possible. Forgiveness of self and in turn others is possible. It takes a commitment to yourself and the practice of showing up fully in each moment. Here’s a poem I wrote a few months ago after some major healing work over a past relationship and some realizations about my ancestry and the patterns I’m here to break:
Never Again
Never again
Will I let someone
Try to paint over my mouth
Never again
Will I let someone
Try to silence me
Never again
Will I let someone
Try to manipulate me
Into working for them
For free
Never again
Will I take my pain
Out on someone else
Never again
Will I take the hurt
That I felt
And try to push it
Onto someone else
Rather than look at
Why I was hurt
And for that, I am sorry.
Never again
Will I underestimate my value
Never again
Will I get small
So that another person
Can feel fine
Never again
Will I lose myself
Lose my power
So that you can hold
Your fragility together
Never again
Will I let someone’s fragility
Their lack of empathy
Their lack of understanding
Their lack of communication
Be a detriment to my Self
Be a detriment to my words
Be a detriment to my art
And at the same time
Thank you
Thank you for showing me
That I was keeping quiet
That I wasn’t valuing myself
That I wasn’t taking up space
That I didn’t think I was good enough
Or that I belonged
Or that I mattered enough
Never. Fucking. Again.
Will I let someone
Use me
Abuse me
Silence me
Manipulate me
Or fuck with me.
Because I rise
Because I expand
Because I am loud
Because I am proud
Because I am here.
I am here to right the wrongs of my ancestors.
I am here to be a guiding light in this world.
I am here to do the work that others are scared to do.
I am here
I am here
I am here
And I am free.
I stand tall
I speak loudly
With words of truth
And change
And I am heard.
I take up space
I throw my paint across the wall
I expand
I create
And I am seen.
I sing
I meditate
I inspire
I vibrate
And I am felt.
You can taste my truth
You can smell my confidence.
And I will no longer get small
I will no longer back down
I will no longer take ownership
Of your feelings
I will no longer give away
My sacred space, my temple
I will no longer devalue myself
I will no longer be manipulated
I will no longer justify your actions
I will no longer let you affect me
Never. Again.
From this day on-
I listen to my intuition
I trust myself
I do what’s best for me
And in turn, best for the good of all
I love myself
I value myself
I am worthy of happiness, abundance, love, and space.
I am here
I am here
I AM HERE.
I am enough
And I am free.